Friday, March 6, 2009

God don't make junk.

God don't make junk. I think that the Psalmist says something like fearfully and wonderfully made. Either way it is the same thing. I am a hairy person. There are people that encourage me to shave my arms, arm pits, and back. They ask why I don't. The answer is simple really. I'm a dude. I don't wear tank tops.

Don't think that women should color their hair. Gray hair is cool. If you are coloring your hair you are kowtowing to male expectations of femininity (you know who you are). God don't make junk.

That being said here are some people God made just fine and thought they might improve on the original. These people have not been served well by their doctors.

I find it amazing that Carrot Top found a surgeon that removed chromosomes also.

I would like to think that Meg would have grown old gracefully. Like Audrey Hepburn. Now she can't fly in a pressurized airliner because her lips would explode.

This disturbs me a little because if I worked at it just a little I could look like Kenny. Is this what I would look like if my face were stretched back over my skull. In the earlier picture of Kenny don't I see the top of Sarah Jessica Parker's head?

Ahh. There she is.

May it is just me but I thought that she was cute in "Square Pegs".

I could not believe the first time that I saw this guy after going under the knife (or was it a hammer?). Doctors should be held accountable for doing this to people who are clearly crazy.

I have always been partial to redheads. Now one of the most beautiful people of the planet is blond and she looks sort of like the Joker. I guess being married to Tom Cruise for that long will change anyone.

Only in America can a poor black boy grow up to be a rich white woman. There was a span for a few years when he was the epitome of cool. Thriller is still one of the best albums ever.

Here's to hoping the all of you age well. And if you aren't aging well then hopefully you can at least age gracefully. And if you can't age gracefully I hope you don't have the money to do this to yourself. If you want to waste money then give it to me and you can come over to the house every day and I will tell you how pretty you desperately want to be.


Jamie said...

I read this and almost decided not to get my hair colored at 4pm.


Chris Barnette said...

Good stuff..Yeah the ones on the left actually look like these celebrity impersonators you see all the time on tv. Carrot Top.. Has he ever been funny?

Joseph said...

Carrot Top has never been funny. But at least he didn't look like the mother from Pink Floyd's "The Wall." The catoon version.

A Small Look into the Life of Me said...

Poor Sarah Jessica Parker.

Ben Hamaker said...

Does that mean that Junk, in fact, makes itself?