Monday, May 24, 2010

Problems vs. Perspective

I work with people who have it made. I mean we probably all have it made. We have jobs and oour work environment is nurturing and warm as opposed to toxic and cold. I work at a great place.

I heard someone complaining about something very trivial the other day. Something about belt loops being in the wrong place and how that seriously messed up their whole day.

Which reminded me of a conversation I had with my father several years ago. We were talking about how the population of Hoover was up in arms trying to stop Wal-Mart from building a Supercenter on Hiway 150. They did not want all of the traffic or the people that Wal-Mart brings with it. Here is an approximate transcript (minus colorful profanity) of the conversation:

Bill: Those people really don't have all that much to worry about do they?

Me: Nope.

Bill: What they lack is perspective.

Me: OK. (*Most of the time it is easier to have a conversation with my dad when you say OK alot.)

Bill: Real problems would put their silly (colorful profanity) problems into proper perspective. What the good people of Hoover really need is a good epidemic of influenza. Follow that up with drought and certain crop failure. And just for poops and giggles the constant threat of scalping from the hostile Apaches that live over the hill in Bessemer. If they had these problems Wal-Mart would seem silly.

Me: Hehe.

So the next time I complain about something small please remind me that threat of scalping is a real problem. At least we don't have that to worry about right?

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Politics, cliches, and guns.

Love them. I love commercials. I am a fan of cliche. There are certain things you have to say if you want to get elected in this state. Here is a non-comprehensive list.

1. "Insert Name Here" believes in conservative, family values.
Never once does this person say what these are. Are we wired up knowing these. If I don't know what these are am I a gay? Or a communist? Or both?
2. "Insert Name Here" is not involved in insider Montgomery politics.
Whew, that's a relief.
3. "Insert Name Here" is not a trial lawyer. What is so evil about trial lawyers? Other than the obvious. When the gay communists come to get your guns you are going to want a really good trial lawyer.
4. "Insert Name Here" believes in God.
Really? Which one? Jehovah? Buddha? Spaghetti Monster? Tom Cruise?
5. "Insert Name Here" is pro-family.
As if the other person is anti-family and wants to herd them into gas chambers.

Below is a video of Dale Peterson. Dale Peterson is running for something. I am so voting for this guy. It would be like R. Lee Ermey being AG Commissioner.  He makes Tim James look like a gay communist.

If you don't vote don't complain. If you don't vote for Dale Peterson you are a "Insert Name Here".

Friday, May 14, 2010

I couldn't resist.

Temple Beth-El in Birmingham is throwing a BBQ cook off.

There is so much awesomeness. 
1.  Irony.  Intentional or not.  You be the judge.
2.  Porky is wearing a yarmulke.
3.  Kosher BBQ.
4.  Them teaming up with Piggly Wiggly is like AA teaming up with Budweiser.

I think calling this a Jew-B-Que would have been a little much.