Thursday, August 26, 2010

Things Chinese Christians Don't Worry About.

I recently heard about a pastor who called his deacons together and told them they would no longer be allowed to serve as a deacon if they used tobacco products. 4 promptly resigned. This in turn prompted me to ask this question of myself. "Does the church in China worry about this kind of stuff?"

There are 2 reasons I would mention the church in China.
1. It is being persecuted.
2. It is growing almost exponentially.

These are two things that cannot be said for the church in America. There are many reasons for this. The church is America is comfortable. And when people get comfortable they tend to worry about silly crap.

The following is a list of things Chinese Christians probably don't worry about all that much. This list has not been researched so please don't concern yourself with fact checking. It's all straight out of my noodle.

1. How they are dressed.
2. How long the sermon is.
3. Whether or not Myrtle (or the Chinese equivalent) is going to be on the Kitchen Committee this year.
4. How weird the kids look nowadays.
5. How loud the guitar is.
6. How everyone else is dressed.
7. Electronic Bingo.
8. How the Pastor is not feeding them. (At some point you have to feed yourself there Baby Huey.)
9. How the shades do not match the carpet.
10. Most of the stuff we American Christians fight about.

Does it sound like I might be a bit of a bad mood? Nah.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Absolute Faithfulness.

You might read the title of this little ditty and think I am about to talk about spiritual or marital fidelity.  You would be wrong.  I am talking about the only TV show I have followed from start to finish. 

I have watched Smallville since Episode 1 nearly 10 years ago.  This season, it's 10th, is the last one.  The following is the promo for the current season. 

You really should check out the marvelously cheesy bit of Superman entertainment.

Friday, August 13, 2010

I bet Adam had this problem.

This is a post I submitted to Stuff Christians Like for consideration as a guest poster person. I have yet to hear back from them. Maybe they hate beards too.

I think one of the first things that Eve said to Adam after they settled on the East Side was, “You really need to consider plucking those?” Or it could have been, “You need to shave that off.”

I seriously think it goes that far back. While not unique to Christians per se it is definitely more pronounced. Here are some of the things that have been said to personally, to my face, to me. (Redundancy intended)

“When are you going to get a hair cut.”

“I can’t stand a man with facial hair.” (Of all the depictions of Jesus out there I am sure the only thing we can say for sure is he had a beard...)

“You not tucking in your shirt sends a horrible message to the youth of this church.” (Me being too fat to tuck my shirt in might worse.)

“I can’t handle it when your beard gets that long.” (I have been known to grow a beard long enough to hind a shank in. You just never know when that might come in handy.)

“You looked so nice last Sunday. If you tried you could look that nice every Sunday.” (This is my personal favorite.)

All of the people who made these comments had 2 things in common: They weren’t men and they weren’t my mother.

Why do these nice women think it is OK to do this? All of them said these things to me were sincere and earnest. Now imagine me saying these things to the same women with the same sincerity and earnestness.

“Gee I really like your hair when you let a professional fix it.”

“Those pants would look better if they were at least 12” below your armpits although it will be increasingly difficult to reach over your shoulder and get stuff out of your back pocket.”

“I like your mustache.”

“I love your hair. Where ever did you get that color? Should I go to the Ms. Clairol section and look for the bottle labeled Wayne Newton?”

There are at least two reasons why I only think these things.

1. There is not enough political capitol in this world for me to be able to say any of the above.

2. The possibility that I could grieve the Holy Spirit.

Do these sweet little ladies not know I am a delicate flower who may have issues with my body and I am trying to resolve said issues through baggier clothing? That I don’t wear suits often because I sweat like Whitney Houston? That I grow a beard because it gives the illusion of a chin? But it all goes back to the beginning I believe.

Eve (to Adam): Did that loincloth match when you left the house this morning?

Chalk another one up to original sin.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Zach Brown Band

This is my favorite new band.  They give me hope.  Because talent and hard work won out over looks.  And they are an amazing live band.  Currently touring with the Dave Matthews Band.  I would travel and pay to see this show.

Below is a live ditty by the ZBB.  Hope you enjoy it.

And he has a very cool beard.