Friday, August 21, 2009

God Don't Make Junk

I refuse to cave in to the unrealistic image that women have of what the perfect man should look like. Men are plagued by unrealistic expections and feel the pressure to have the perfect body and perfect hair and cave under the weight of these expectations.

I have gone to church with women who have no inhibitions whatsoever about telling me how I should dress or groom. Here are a few quotes I have heard over the years:

"I can tolererate the beard but its starting to get a little thick."
"Why are you wearing that shirt with those shoes?"
"You could look good every Sunday if you would just try."
"At least shave your throat."

Even as I write this my lovely wife is picking at me like one of those grooming monkeys at the zoo. This is how the conversation (one sided) is going:

Kara: You've got to let me do something about that neck. Boys come at look at this long hair growing out of your dad's forehead.

Billy: Dad, I think you're going to get bigger.
(And I think to myself, "But you might not.")

So I say this: Large and hairy men of the world unite. Refuse to succumb to unrealistic expectations laid on us by magazines (GQ and Esquire) and soap operas (General Hospital). Be glorious in the way your maker made you. Grow that beard thick. And under no cirumstance shave, wax, or pluck any part of your body. You're a fur bearing mammal. That is how God made you and God don't make junk. Psalm 139:14


Lance said...

I'm glad someone else is on the same boat.

Anonymous said...

I'm speechless. I guess I always knew you were a non-conformist, but dang dude!!!!
Does that thing scare your kids????

Joseph said...

Lance: It is a great boat we're in. We don't get cold like all of the hairless monkeys.
Anonymous: My kids think the beard is just about the coolest thing ever. At least right now.