Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Movies I thought were good but turned out to be bad.

I have always loved movies.  Books too.  I like to escape to a place I will never go and experience a world as a person I will never be.  I am a re-reader.  If I like a book I will read it several times.  If I like a movie I will watch it over and over again.  I have read "Boy's Life" something like 5 times.  I have seen "Dumb and Dumber" over 30 times.  The neat thing about revisiting these classics is catching the little things you missed the first few times.  Like when Lloyd asks the waitress at the diner what the soup dejour is and she says, "It's the soup of the day." completely dead pan.  Lloyd then says, "That sounds good.  I'll have that."  Genius.  Pure GEEENYUSS. 

Good books and good movies get better after repeated readings and viewings.

The opposite is true of bad books and movies. 

I never re-read a bad book.  But I will re-watch a bad movie sometimes because they come on USA or TBS.  One exception to a bad movie getting worse is "Road House".  This is a bad movie but it keeps getting better every time it is on CMT.  It will be late at night and I am getting ready to go to bed and I scan past CMT and see "Roadhouse" on and I know I am up for another 2 hours.  ("Don't eat the big white mint.")

The following is a list of movies I used to think were good but now realize they are bad.

1.  The Notebook:  Good acting.  So-so story.  Rachel McAdams.  What's not to like?  Nobody fights as much as those people and still like each other.  There is one piece of advice I give to dating couples.  If you fight more than you don't it is time to end it.  Because marriage always makes problems go away.  Yeah right.  If this dude had married that girl in the real world he would have killed her before year two was over.  On the bright side neither one of them would have ended up in a nursing home.
I watched this one with Kara.  She said I would like it.  I was crying at the end and she was inconsolable.  I mean she was a wreck.  I hate it when  movie makes me cry about people I don't even like. 

2.  Conan The Barbarian:  I shouldn't have watched this as a kid but I did.  I watched it again this summer.  Ahnuld made this movie before he learned to act.  (Did I actually just type that?)  Anyhow...this was a horrible movie.  At one point he is fighting and he spends 3 minutes of film making Ahnuld noises.  Think the noises he made in Total Recall when he face was getting ready to explode on Mars.  For 3 minutes. 
Best quote from the movie: 
Mongol General: "What is best in life?"

Conan: "To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women."
To hear this line from Ahnuld's mouth is like music.  At least he could say lamentations.

3. Titanic:  Beautiful looking movie.  Great acting.  Good score.  Kate Winslett.  What's not to like?  Just one little thing that ruined the movie for me after thinking about it.  Toward the end of the movie when the old woman is standing on the back of the boat and she takes the necklace and throws it into the ocean.  What a selfish old hag.  I would have loved it if Bill Paxton's character would have walked around the corner about the same time as she was putting the necklace overboard.  Then I would have loved it if he screamed like a crazy person and thrown her after it.  Then throwing stuff at her every time she surfaced.  "Don't even think about coming back aboard until you have a necklace or $20,000,000.  And you did let go.  Hag."

4.  Pretty in Pink:  Molly Ringwald whines on the first date almost non-stop.  They get in an argument.  On the first date.  If I'm the rich guy I drop her off in front of her house 20 minutes in. 

There are plenty of others I am sure.  I can't really remember. 

Are there any movies you now realize steam with badness after a repeated viewing?

No comments: