Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I am a member of the PTA

How did this happen to me? I went to an open house tonight at Billy's school. I sat on hard bleachers while the 5th graders treated us to several selections on the recorder. My favorite was the blues ditty they tore up. Nothing screams BLUES!!! like the recorder. I picture Robert Johnson fresh off signing his soul over to the devil penning "Crossroads". He hears the recorder in his mind. If harps are the instruments of heaven then recorders are the instruments of hell.

When did I get old enough to be in the freaking PTA? Where did my life go? Listen carefully. I am not bemoaning the state of my life right now. Things are pretty sweet for me right now. It's just I never once dreamed when I was young that one of the things I would be at any point was in the PTA. I play bass in a rock band. I wear flip-flops to church on Sunday mornings. I am quite jiggy in several different areas. And yet I rode home from the school tonight with the realization that I am a PTA parent slowly descending on me.

Billy's teacher told us that he reads very good (she didn't say very good, I said very good and yes Ben and Jamie I know very good ain't good English). He behaves most of the time. I also noticed that he likes hugging girls. Good Billy. Chicks dig literacy.

Alas, I am getting old. One day I am going to show up at either Billy's or James Robert's house with a full diaper. I am going to walk right through the front door, go and lay down on their bed, raise my legs in the air and demand that I be changed this instant. I also plan on wearing plaid pants and striped shirts with a belt and suspenders. I think I will also wear a fedora.

And I took the first step towards this glorious end tonight. I am in the PTA. Or at least I think I am.


Edward G. Roberts said...

So, does this mean we can all look for you in the Dunking Booth at the Fall Festival? Make sure you wear socks and suspenders while you do it - go all out.

Joseph said...

I will not be in the dunking booth because I will either be William Wallace or Papa Smurf. The blue on the face will not react well to water.

Chris Barnette said...

Well the next step in this evolution is getting a Mini Van  I hate to say it but you are getting old, and it seems to me like the older we get the faster time goes by. An example would be going to school and raising children. It seemed like it took forever to get through school but when I look at my children it seems like just they grew up over night. Time is not on our side my friend. Just wait, in what will seem like a couple of days your boys will be driving your car and dating girls.

Anonymous said...

We are working on the mini van, or the equivalent. I seem not to fret about being in the PTA, unlike Joseph, but I also didn't cry on Billy's first day of school either!